ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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