She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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