So drunk its hurt
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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