why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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