I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
