I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
