its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
love makes seman taste better
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
