Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
