i think my mom watched the whole time
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
