Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Randomize
