Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
