I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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