guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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