I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
