Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
