So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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