He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
