i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
