I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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