Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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