capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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