absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
