I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
