We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
