I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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