You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
