so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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