So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
