And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
