i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
if only i could text you this smell
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
