the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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