i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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