Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
