break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
