It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
