you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
