he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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