careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
