I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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