ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
