It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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