i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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