Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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