the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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