Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
