Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
wow bdsm is so cute
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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