Got a toothbrush?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
