Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
