can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
