a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
