In America we eat man semen.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
