found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Acid is not a monday night drug
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
