Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
